Letters to Jessica
Dearest Mum,
You were the type of person that was approachable and would always listen. There are so many good things about you which is why everyone loved and still loves you, but most of all misses you. The people that miss you the most are my sister and I.
When my sister and I found out you were suffering from melanoma we were devastated, crying in a hospital waiting room knowing this was the end. Luckily, we found this website that can help us to research some of the ways to reassure this is unlikely to happen as often. There are so many things that can be done to save people from missing someone else.
Thank you
Your Aisha
Mummy,
You were my best friend. You talked to me and you made me laugh.
You left me when I was only four, and although your memory is fading I miss my mummy.
You made delicious birthday cakes.
I love you,
Zahra
My dear daughter,
I had you for 40 years but that is not long enough. I miss you! You were my guide through my parenting, you directed my healthcare, you gave me two delightful presents. Every day I miss you.
Your daughters miss you more. Aisha only had you for 10 years and Zahra for such a short time – just four years. They love you. They miss you terribly.
Aisha and Zahra treasure their memories of you. They talk about being in the car with you, short trips to school or longer trips to visit friends, and laughing. You could make the most mundane objects live an hilarious existence. You found the ridiculous in the simplest moments. And the rest of us have similar memories of your humour, sometimes played out on us. Now those moments are hollow and silent.
You are a mother, my daughter. You are a sister and sister-in-law, an aunt. You are a granddaughter, a niece, a cousin, a friend, a nurse. You are creative and artistic and caring. You brought happiness to so many. We all miss you.
And you went so suddenly! We barely had time to say our goodbyes. COVID restrictions made it more difficult: entry to the hospital was limited, beloved family couldn’t cross borders.
There was an omen five years ago when a small spot changed and grew on your back. It was quickly removed and the diagnoses said it was only a stage 1 melanoma. The margins were clear. It seemed insignificant now it was removed. What a relief.
The next signs, we know now, were four years later when you felt endless tiredness. Then a month later when gastric symptoms began and headaches were more frequent we didn’t, even you didn’t, realise this was all related.
So when you had trouble talking fluently at work you came home and went to bed. The treatment you sought for the gastric wasn’t helpful. We had plans to look further but now your decline was sudden and you became unresponsive. The ambulance took you to emergency where a brain scan revealed tumours – 22 and some were bleeding.
In ICU you were kept alive and soon they found more tumours in your respiratory system. Tests identified them as melanomas and connected them to the other tumours. There was no way back. We sat with you, we talked to you, we stayed with you day and night.
Before you left us we celebrated your birthday – 40 years! Aisha and Zahra painted your nails and plaited ribbons into your hair. You were radiant.
Every day we miss you. It is not easy but you live in our hearts – forever.
Your proud mother,
Margaret.
